When it comes to living your best life, mindfulness, adventure, fitness and nutrition all play important roles.
But there is one quality, one that encompasses both the physical and the mental, that often gets forgotten in our quest to achieve greatness within ourselves.
Which brings us to this new column and me.
I’m thrilled to be your guide through the wonderful world of love, sex, romance, dating and the intimacy and challenges that human sexuality comes brimming with.
Sex is central to our self-image, our health, our relationships and how we love—and for those of us who have sex, we know that it’s pretty damned important.
For those of us who have sex while embracing the idea that a life worth living is a life full of exploration, adventure and passion, well, how we get sex, give sex, and improve sex is vital to our well-being and happiness.
A few nights back, I told a friend, “You need to learn how to give women so much pleasure that their brains melt. It will make all the rest—communication, confidence, love—so much easier.”
And I meant it. Because it’s true.
This idea holds true regardless of your gender or with whom you want to have sexy-times. Learning to give the best pleasure is a great place to start your sexual awakening.
Even more, though, is learning how to be 100% authentic and powerful while give amazing pleasure.
Sounds pretty “DieLiving,” doesn’t it?
What if I told you that most of what you know about sexuality is wrong?
What if I told you that amazing sex is available regardless of your looks, your financial status or your height?
What if I told you that, despite common beliefs, it is women who have the most active libidos and the wickedest imaginations?
What if told you that having sex is as good for your physical health as it is for your mental health and suggested a sexual training regimen?
Well, I won’t go that far, but here are a few of the proven (by science, y’all!) benefits of regular sex:
- Lowers blood pressure
- Burns calories
- Increases heart health
- Strengthens muscles
- Reduces your risk of heart disease, stroke and hypertension
- Increases libido
- Strengthens immune system
- Aids sleep
- Lowers mortality in both men and women
- Increases confidence
- Boosts satisfaction with life overall
Still not convinced?
Google that shit and you’ll see that these facts are totally backed by science. In fact, the benefits are so much more, but the list was getting long, and I got tired of working that angle.
But, even if you don’t believe me, even if you don’t believe the scientists and the mighty Google, you agree that sex is worth doing just for the sex, right?
So, we’re gonna talk about sex. Well, I’m gonna talk about sex. You’re going to ask questions about sex, and Imma answer them from the perspective of a woman who loves sex and the men I enjoy it with.
I’m gonna answer as a woman who’s spent the past decade-plus researching amazing sex and how to attract it, how to give it, how to receive it, and how to keep it hot long after the flame usually dies down.
Here are a few of the things I expect we’ll cover:
Dating: The dating game is fun and exhilarating, like rugby. You can get beat up, sent out, brought back in and win it all. But this isn’t Candyland and you can’t cheat. There are no silly tricks. Just what works. I’ve written a book on dating and I’ve been studying the market and the tips and tricks for over a decade.
Love: Most of what we learn about love is wrong. Our role models in loving pretty much suck (if yours didn’t, consider yourself a very lucky person) and pop culture sends ALL. THE. WRONG. MESSAGES.
Sex: What the heck are you supposed to do? I’ve heard something about tracing the alphabet with your tongue. I’ve also heard about trying the shocker… Anyway.
I’ll clue you in to what’s real, what’s bullshit and what you can do to make you the best damn lover ever.
I could go on but I think you get the picture. So, let’s talk about me, where I’m coming from and why the hell you should trust what I have to say.
When my marriage split up in 2007, I was naive and very unsure about sex. But I knew I wanted it, I believed it could be better than I’d ever had it, and wanted the great stuff I had at that point only read about. I wanted it to burn me alive in the sheets, to forget who I was with passion, and to give as good as I got.
Like many, I had lost my way, believing what others told me, doing what society dictated, and being in a long-term relationship with the wrong partner. When I got out, I was more than halfway to sexual death. I wasn’t even sure I really wanted it anymore.
Except I kept thinking that I did want it.
And thus began my journey.
First, I started reading every book I could get my hands on. Then I started dating and trying things out. I studied pickup artists (PUAs) online. I joined their ‘Men’s Only’ forums as an invited woman and began learning about what actually worked for these guys after they had spent months, even years trying one ‘game’ after another.
I practiced my skills.
I had mind-blowing sex, way beyond what I ever even imagined was possible, and I now know that there’s still more to explore, and it can keep getting better and hotter and more fulfilling.
I’ve traveled the world learning and teaching about connecting with others through love and sex. I’ve mentored men and women to understand their own pleasure, and how to find it with others, on their terms and within the parameters of their comfort.
I’m passionate about sharing this for these reasons and so many others. Not the least of which is that it’s fucking awesome.